That was quite a year! In a nutshell it was the best and
worst I’ve ever had. Now let’s expand that nutshell. I’ll tell you all about
December, a tad bit of Jan and what I plan on doing this year.
I made an A3 sign that read LITTLE POO in big, black, block
letters and waited at the Heathrow Arrivals gate for Berni. Lots of people
smiled, laughed and commented when they walked past it before she came out. The
first thing she said to me after not seeing me for nine months was “You b***h”. We hugged, went home and rested and it was as
if we’d never been apart. She wasn’t kidding when she said most of her luggage
was stuff for me. ¾ of her suitcase was for me wether that be Christmas
presents or random gifts and food. Thanks!!
As I missed her 25th birthday, I bought her
tickets to see The Phantom of the Opera on the West End here in London, so
that’s what we did the day after she got here. Berni has been obsessed with the
film and watching all the original stage play clips online for years now,
bought the soundtrack and forced me to watch the film. She blasted the cd so
loudly that I knew all the songs by heart without wanting to. I was so focused
on Berni and looking forward to seeing her reactions during the play that it
really surprised me how much I loved it. That was in the afternoon, and that
night she came with me to my second work Christmas party. My first was for
Hanwell a week earlier. It was so nice to get all dressed up, wear a smoking
dress and have a good time with my colleagues who have turned into such great
friends.
At the Isleworth party it was a lot more low-key, people
seemed more relaxed and yeah we drank a lot. None of which hit me until I got
into the uber coming home. There were drinks, more drinks, shots and
shot-challenges featuring AUS vs. GB. Australia won, obviously. I had a great
time and so did Berni. All my friends loved her, she loved them, naw.
For Christmas I bought Berni a warm-ass coat, a little
painting and flights to Vienna for the Christmas markets!!! It was negative 6C
for the entire 4 days, day and night. It snowed the first day we had there, it
was absolutely beautiful. There were Christmas trees all over the city, and
lights and decorations on buildings. It fell so light and stuck to our nose and
eyelashes, just like the song said! There were markets all over the city; on
maid roads, down side streets, in garden squares. That’s basically how we spent
every day, in and out of every market in town, drinking all of the mulled wine.
All of it, all of the flavours, with cream, without, with Jack Daniels, soooooo
much mulled wine. We had breakfast every morning in a café that all the locals
go to, having coffee and bagels. We saw all the sites, went to castles and in
every single location we had mulled wine. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t.
Morning. Early afternoon. Late afternoon. Night time. Because it was so cold!!!
And delicious. And an excuse to drink but still look festive! We bought the
little mugs as souvenirs. Nicole was meant to come with us but due to a break
down in communication, she’d booked the wrong dates and went before us, coming
home the day we got to Vienna. To make up for that we caught up in London over
dinner and drinks and with the help of girl talk and two bottles of vino, us
three girls all sorted through some life problems. Ah, the simple things. It’s
just so much cheaper than therapy. We joked that it was Nicole’s birthday to
the waiter “oh if you wanted to bring us free drinks because it’s her birthday
hahaha” ah yeah, he lied to his manager so that he could give us FREE SHOTS!!!
WHAT!!!
We did the adult thing and bought groceries to make our very
own Christmas lunch. On Christmas eve we couldn’t watch Carols by Candlelight
online but we were able to listen to it, it wasn’t the same but it was still
good. At night we went to mass down the road at a Roman Catholic church, sang
the carols we knew and stood there with a blank face during those we didn’t.
The one year we could escape and we chose to go of our own volition.
Afterwards, which was one of the selling points of going to this midnight mass,
we went to the adjoining hall for mince pies and MULLED FRIKKEN WINE!!! Hahaha
it never ends! We went home and Skyped the parents because it was their
Christmas morning. We watched them open their presents because it’s tradition.
And we wished Nahla a Merry Christmas too.
When we woke up (well I woke up first and then bugged Berni
for an hour before she got up) we Skyped Mum and Pa again so they could watch
us open our presents. Then we roasted our own turkey, cooked all the trimmings,
we made our lasagne, Berni had made tiramisu. It was part traditional English
and part traditional our-family Christmas. We ate soooo much, and most of it
was kept as leftovers. We had a friend over in the afternoon and watched AS IS
TRADITION National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (after I had passed out on the
couch for an hour with a food coma). I then had to work from 1900-0200. No
spectacular jobs, but my crewmate did get me a present and I shared with him a
few chocolate and biscuit treats I had.
Berni had some friends of hers in town so we caught up with
them a few times. We went out for dinner and then out to a bar and danced for
hours and hours and didn’t get home until 3am.
I took Berni on a few day trips seeing as she’s seen and
done all the big London things so we hopped in my car and hit the M4. That’s a
freeway. She’s always wanted to go to Bath so that’s where we went first,
driving along, letting her see the countryside and listening to music on BBC1
because that’s all that will work the further out you get without scanning the
radio for rural stations. We went into the old Roman Baths and saw the circus
(circular street), Royal Crescent and the River Avon. I took her for a surprise
road trip to a teeny tiny town in the middle of nowhere, where the roads are so
small you need to reverse into a gap in the hedges to let the oncoming car
through. Or the oncoming horse. I took her to Turville, the English country
village where they filmed the show The Vicar of Dibley. We have loved this show
since 1994 and I just had to take her. You should’ve seen her face! We went
into the church, saw the house and the little street where Harry lived. We had
lunch in the pub and then headed home. There really wasn’t anything else to do
there.
I think it was the next day, we wanted a relaxed day so I
drove Berni 20 minutes down the road to a neighbouring suburb to see a football
ground, a park with a bandstand and then a row of houses with a patch of grass
in the middle of the court. That’s right. I took her to see the filming
locations from Bend it Like Beckham! She loved it. I loved it!
We’d caught up with Nicole at Winter Wonderland in Hyde
Park. Every year they do it up with rides and markets and activities. I was
expecting more markets and food and little places to wander all festive and
things but really it was predominantly rides and games like a theme park. Berni
convinced us to go onto a rollercoaster and it was amazing, it was called Looping.
There were a few. A lot of drops as well. Oh and we had 3 mugs of mulled wine each
that night as well.
Danny arrived on NYE! He spent Christmas in Melb with the
family and then came here and we loved every second with him. We had a couple
of drinks at home, and he tried Berni’s tiramisu and said “it tastes like
home”. The best compliment you could give, in my opinion. And god it was. It
was gooooood. I’m going to have to try to make it one day to prepare for next
Christmas when she won’t be here and I’ll have to eat my own creation. We then
went to meet Berni’s friends in their BnB in Kensington before heading into
town. We’d bought tickets to see the fireworks. You had to buy tickets to get
into specified viewing points along the Thames and they’d blocked off so much
of the city that you really did need tickets to see anything. Well worth it.
Ok, so we were in line waiting to get past security for hours. We got into town
at a reasonable hour I’d thought (9) but the queues were insane, by the time we
showed our tickets, Big Benny himself was showing 22:50. WHAT!!! It was crazy.
A few of us * cough * Danny * cough *
didn’t pee earlier so had to go find one now. We had such a great spot! Under
Benny right on the water next to Westminster Bridge and straight across from
the Eye, where they had the fireworks!!!! So! One of Berni’s friends had bought
2017 hats and headbands from Kmart before coming over and a lady in the crowd
from some radio station here I’d never heard of wanted to interview us. I’d had
quite a bit to drink by the time she eventually made her way back so I can’t
exactly remember every word, but I basically introduced myself, said we’d been
in line for hours but it was well worth it. All while Berni and another girl
were blowing on their party popper things making so much damn noise. Danny
filmed the whole thing laughing his head off. Yeah, I hope no one actually
heard that interview. The fireworks were amazing, they came off of the Eye and
the sky looked beautiful for a few minutes. They played Auld Lang Syne. We sang
along. We did not sing the right lyrics. Or for the most part sing any actual
lyrics at all and just hummed or mumbled. This is what we should have sung
whilst hugging each other and dancing in a circle:
Should auld
acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought
to mind?
Should auld
acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld
lang syne?
And days of auld
lang syne, my dear,
And days of auld
lang syne.
Should auld
acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld
lang syne?
We twa hae run
aboot the braes
And pu'd the
gowans fine.
We've wandered
mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld lang
syne.
Sin' auld lang
syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang
syne,
We've wandered
mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld ang
syne.
We twa hae sported
i' the burn,
From morning sun
till dine,
But seas between
us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang
syne.
Sin' auld lang
syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang
syne.
But seas between
us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang
syne.
And ther's a hand,
my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand
o' thine;
We'll tak' a cup
o' kindness yet,
For auld lang
syne.
For auld lang syne,
my dear,
For auld lang
syne,
We'll tak' a cup
o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
I’ll try to learn
them for next NYE. Hahaha yeah right.
And then all the
alcohol I’d had decided to hit me all at once. After the fireworks it all
becomes a bit hazy and Berni and Danny had to help me home. Egh my bad.
The first day of
2017 was perfect. We had a lazy morning (I was recovering and the other’s were
just tired) followed by coffee in a really cute café near mine that reminded us
of something Westgarth has back home. We walked around for a little bit and
Danny took photos of the side streets and the flats there. I’ve completely lost
all interest in them, the novelty of seeing the Victorian and Edwardian style
flats had worn off months ago for me. I just think about all the silly billies
that decide to get sick on the top floor, making us carry them all the way
down. Get sick on the ground floor! Hahaha how rude of them. Anyway, then we
ended our night in the best way possible, at the pub near my place. It sits
right on the Thames and as it was a Sunday, as is custom here all pubs have a
Sunday Roast, so that’s what we had. We all scoffed it down then went home to
bed.
Day 2 was a big one
indeed! Danny had never been to the UK before so we wanted to show him the
city. We went to London Bridge, then climbed Monument, walked along the river
to the Tower of London, walked across Tower Bridge to the south side. There
they had more Christmas markets so, no we didn’t have mulled wine but Danny had
mulled cider. We walked back across to Waterloo where the Borough Markets are
but they weren’t running that day so we stopped to have mulled wine (giggle,
giggle, yes we did) and passed right through. We walked west along to The Eye,
over Westminster Bridge to Parliament and Benny again. Around to Westminster
Abbey, to the pub for another classic English dish. Fish and Chips. It’s big
here. Ah then through St. James Park to Buckingham Palace, down Pall Mall to
Trafalgar Square, up to Leicester Square, past M&M World to Piccadilly
Circus. Down Regent Street, into Hamleys, down Oxford Street to Hyde Park and
Winter Wonderland. We had a booking for ice skating there. It was Berni’s first
time, I’d done it once before and Danny a few. It was fantastic! So pretty. And
I had THE most spectacular fall. Danny had gone off the ice because the cheap rentable
shoes were squeezing his feet to buggery so it was just me and Berni left of
our little group of three. I’m skating ahead, do a nice little turn to the
left, then as I turn to the right, my skate catches on some loose ice, I
stumble, try to correct the turn, flail, step step step, more flailing, think
I’ve done it but no, I spin 180 degrees , arms up and superman land on my
stomach. Thank god my coat had tonnes of padding, I didn’t feel a thing. I look
because I know, I just know… yep she saw. Here she comes skating up to me
pissing herself laughing. Yeah.
Ok ok what else is
there? Oh yeah so Berni and I took Danny to the Borough market on the Friday
before they left and we spent a bit of moolah on cheese. It was great cheese. A
kind that only a handful of farms still make in Britain. And some goat’s cheese
and flaxseed bars low in GI for work, presents for the fam back home and
sampled some of the coffee everyone in London claims is amazing. Yeah it was.
Holy poop, I need to go back and get some more. Everyone, it’s the Columbian
Coffee Co. That’s where it’s at. We regretted eating lunch when we ‘taste
tested’ the samples of cheese 10 minutes later though but that’s why we spent
so much money, so we could take it all home to eat it. We rushed over to Baker
street, to number 221B and had a look around in the store there because it cost
15pounds to get into the museum! And plus we had somewhere more important to
be. That’s right. We had to go home to change into something decent because we
were off to a secret bar. I’m not going to tell you the name of it or where it
is, only that you need to be in cahoots with those in the know. Once you book a
table they email you with the code word to say to the guy who just stands in
the middle of a random street, in regular clothes, you just need to know that
that is the person you need to talk to. We walked up to him, he asked us what
we were doing around there so I said that we were there to see the Captain, he
passed the message on and we were showed through a door towards the
Underground, downstairs into a 1940s themed bar set up like the London
Underground post war. Cocktails galore, nibbles and lovely music.
After our drinks we
went out for dinner at a salsa bar and all had a dance. Not surprisingly I have
no coordination and thanked the lord when Em wanted to go sit down as she was
hot and tired, I just had enough of looking like an idiot. We drank more and
more margaritas, tried to get Danny drunk by spiking his drink with a tequila
shot but to no success, he just got mildly tipsy and bopped a bit on the
d-floor. None of the pole dancing we were hoping for. Nicole met up with us
once she’d finished work and we all went out for more drinks and dancing and we
didn’t get back until 3am. I think. Thank goodness for the night bus. City to
home in under an hr for only 1.50 quid.
The next day we had
a lie in, ate cheese and fruit and then made our way to Heathrow to say goodbye
to Berni. I bought her some snacks for the plane (pringles, chewwies, Haribo
bears and mints) and Em bought her some trashy mags. The essentials, obviously.
She showed her ticket and passed through the gate and I didn’t even cry. Not
one tear! Look at me maturing. That’s a sign!
Em, Danny and I went
back home, straight to the pub around the corner from my place for dinner and
there was a white husky-cross sitting at a table next to a spare one. I sat
down next to the puppy (7 MONTH OLD PUPPY!!!!!) called Leo. It was still too
early after tea to go to bed so Danny came back to mine, we watched a film, ate
a crap load of dessert and then went to bed.
Danny and Em both
said their flights left from Heathrow Terminal 2 around 8am so that’s where we
went at 5am. Em checked in to her flight to Morocco just fine but Danny
couldn’t access his. He sought help at a desk and then realised he’d made a
really silly mistake. He didn’t read the part on his e-ticket that read LGW, as
in London Gatwick. WRONG AIRPORT!!!!! Lucky we were really early. He bought a
ticket for the shuttle bus and still got to the correct airport early. We
hugged and waved and I said goodbye and then I went home. I didn’t even nap
(should have). I watched the latest episode of Sherlock instead(can’t believe
what happened, shock horror, poor Watson).
So now I’m back into
the swing of things, nearly everything is back to normal. The silly season is
all packed away in a bag in the cupboard where the washing machine is, the
fridge is clear of leftovers, the freezer doesn’t have frozen desserts in it,
and aside from the packets of Mint Slices, Tim Tams and BBQ shapes Berni
brought me over, there is no junk food in the house. Yesterday I walked to the
gym, went to my yoga class and bought veggies on the way home, made two types
of soup and for lunch I had avosmash. Followed closely by 5 Tim Tams and coffee.
But hey, it’s all about small lifestyle changes that I can maintain over a long
period of time. Plus once they run out I can’t buy anymore and I miss them!!!!
So I should let
y’all know now that I’m coming to visit in March. AND THE CROUD GOES WILD!!! I
can hear trumpets sounding and drums announcing my arrival into Australia.
Women fall to their knees and throw rose petals on the floor in front of my
feet. Men take off their shirts and wave them around in the air. Kids giggle
and run along with me. It shall be a joyous month for all. So I’ll be getting
in on the 9th if my calculation is correct, or thereabouts. Just
give me a day or two to adjust to the right time and I’ll be ready to see you.
I’ll try to get
around to you all but there are lots of you and one of me so I may just have to
do the whole ‘BBQ at mine, BYO everything” and I’ll supply the ‘Me’.
I’m leaving April 3rd
and when I get back my roster goes back to relief shifts so nothing stable.
Which means it’ll be hard to plan holidays. This year I’m going to hike Norway
with my Camino sister Alex and I’d like to do Vietnam. If terrorism wasn’t so
inconvenient to my travel plans I’d be going to Turkey but those pesky little people
are in my way for the time being. How rude.
I think that’s all
for now. I’ll write another in a month’s time with the lead up to my visit back
to Melb and how work is going. The forcast for the next two months is night
shifts pretty much every weekend. Awesome.
Cheerio, TTFN.
