If you’ve met me even once, you’d know that I’m hating being unemployed. This (yet another) transitional period of my life is fine in and of itself, but it’s the ‘being dependent and reliant’ on others that I’m struggling with. I’m too independent, had to stand on my own two feet for far too long to be remotely comfortable with not having a job.
Not having any idea what to do with the rest of my existence after quitting, that’s fine. But not having an income, having people buy things for me, living with family…. That’s the hard part. Honestly, I love them for it, don’t get me wrong, I’ll be eternally grateful, but it’s just not something I’m used to.
I’m half way through my Cert IV Training and Assessing course, it’s the most dull content I’ve ever had to consume, and I’ve done some pretty dull health powerpoints on latest legislation and well ok, if you’ve seen any paramedic sit down in front of a computer to ‘learn’ something with a quiz at the end, just know we’ve had our registrations held at gunpoint as the only way to get us through it. We’re not known for our attention spans - it’s why we do a job that requires 1.5hrs max communication with any one patient before we’re onto the next. Then again, I guess that’s not me anymore. I’d like to get into teaching, for a bit. Teaching first aid and perhaps paramedic students, seems fun. More like ‘doable’ but as the saying goes, those that can’t do, teach. Those that have PTSD and Burn Out, help the future medics try to avoid it as much as possible.
I’m sure that once I get through this course and start dong some teaching roles, I’ll meet people (networking, I think they call it) and get my name out there, and hopefully figure out something to do for a steady job. The thing is, after 10 years working as a paramedic, I’m ready to get my thrills in life from anything other than how I make money. I've seen some pretty crap stuff and yep, life really is too short to sweat the small stuff.
I’ve never been overly ambitious when it comes to careers, I’d rather just go to work, earn cash, then leave for the day and go chase my adventures that way. I crave activities, different destinations, conversation. I’d rather know what gets you out of bed each Sunday morning than how you pay your bills. What’s the latest thing you’re obsessed with, do you have a vegetable garden, are you thinking about making a worm farm, do you prefer post-punk, glam rock music or a more synth afro beat, and if you have a preferred way of keeping your toes warm in winter. (That last one there inspired by my recent return to Melbourne after living in Queensland for the better part of 7 years and the fact that I’ve lived in cold climates for over 33 years has completely left my brain).
Speaking of which… I’m back!!!!!!
Man I’ve missed living in a major city. I struggled living in such a small town with very little for me to do, it wasn’t very conducive to my interests. I’m not really one for off roading each week, camping and fishing, and I never really felt like I belonged there. Late 30s, single and child-free, I was kind of an outsider. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been just a little left of centre, but let’s just say I chose to live in Rockhampton for as long as I did for the job. I wasn’t done working as a boots on the ground paramedic yet. But I am now, so back to the city I go.
It feels like an ex though. It feels familiar is some ways but it’s changed so much in ten years that I feel like I have to catch us up again. Reintroduce ourselves. Hi Melbourne, I’m Patrice. I look forward to finding all your hidden gems, wine bars, record stores and trivia nights, and you can ask me why I own 7 pairs of linen trousers now. Don’t worry, I’ll donate them or give them to friends, they really aren’t me but when you live ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN all year round, you can’t very well wear denim jeans and chucks, so I needed to adapt.
So far in the week I’ve been back, I’ve been to brunches and dinners and drinks with my girls, and making many more plans for future adventures. And an Italian festival at my local market, I'm sorry, can you say kismet?!! When I get a bit more of this course done, I’ll feel less guilty for going out so I’ll get to a few more things in town. I love hitting up NGV when I’m here, so I’ll pop that on the list. Am I writing this blog post instead of studying? Absolutely. But what can you do? Old habits, and all that.
I’ve been to two record stores since being back and managed to find an Echo & the Bunnymen and a Bowie (the earliest I’ve managed to find is Hunky Dory, so I’m still hunting. If anyone finds Diamond Dogs, let me know). I have a bit of a list going, all very 70s brit alt/punk rock with some Beach House and Ellington thrown in there.
Tina and I have set a mini-challenge of exploring all the Korean restaurants in at least the northern suburbs. What a delicious challenge.
Regular drinks nights solving all the world’s problems with Nicole and Berni just sooth the soul. And since our girls trip last year, the three of us have had life shaking revelations which we’re all very scared and excited for. We’re planning on another in the new year, just to keep us on our toes. Can’t be too comfortable with life as it is, where’s the fun in that?
I do miss my people back in Rocky. They were the only reason why I stayed as long as I did. So thank you, to my special few. I still talk to you all so this isn’t goodbye. If anything it’s a reminder to message me about the latest goss bc it’s not ‘beating a dead horse’ if it’s still twitching!
Right well I suppose I’ll go answer maybe one more question in this handbook before I go take a well earned break on the couch.
Until next time.
