Saturday, 29 October 2016

Buen Camino

Buen Camino.

Those two words meant so many things to me along the Camino and even now they resonate deep. Directly translated they mean ‘Good Way’ and they’re said to peregrinos (pilgrims) to wish them luck, good fortune, safe travels on their journey. It’ll take too long to make this a tutorial as to what the Camino is, and it’s too hard to explain. The best way to understand is to walk it yourself. You walk the camino for yourself, and no one else.

I have a friend, Amanda, who walked the Camino Frances from St. Jean Pied-de-Port to Santiago last year. It struck a chord with me, it sounded like something I was meant to do. Then once she first mentioned it I heard it everywhere and I knew I had to.

The Camino won’t give you what you want, it gives you what you need. You might not even realise what that is until it hits you in the face. Walking through the blazing sun with no shade, endless wheat fields with blisters and sore tendons I realised what my issue was. After that I didn’t have nightmares and I wasn’t scared. The people I met along the way helped me in so many ways in realising why I was really there and how best to overcome these problems. They each addressed different parts of me, helped bring out the good, test the bad, clear the haziness and show me the paths laid out in front of me.
Tim and Wendy. Mel. Kerry. Gina. Joe. Lucas. Neil. Pricilla and Casey. Rich and Joe. Cassandra. Ben (HOWQUA – his stage name, look him up). Chunghee. Drew. Andrèas. James.
Alex.
Alex deserves a whole blog to herself. I met her on day one, we came together after a week of walking and didn’t leave the other’s side. We laughed together, cried together, struggled up every hill and through every dull city-outskirts. She challenged my thinking, my heart, helped me push my body further. I would not be the person I am now at the end of it all without her. Her strength gave me strength. She also gave me gummy bears. Oh the Haribo bears were just so addictive, the best flavours being white and red but you’d always get a bag full of yellow. Yellow?! Who wants that much lemon? We’d keep a packet in our pocket and when we felt really low or grumpy we’d have one or two. On one occasion Alex felt so yuck that she ate half a packet, and then felt even worse. She was a lot faster than me that day and I found her lying on a bench trying to recover from her gummy bear OD. I learnt my lesson from seeing her like that.

Day One I was excited and scared for all that lay ahead. I was right to be scared, well, maybe not scared, no one died (it’s happened before, and people have become lost) but it was hard. Really hard. This is not just a walk.  Day one is over the Pyrenees and that day it was cold with strong winds, rain and even hail. I had to put my cap on to protect my head. I put on my long sleeve top and my rain jacket with the wind blowing it in every direction which didn’t help me and had to open up my backpack rain cover which I had never used before. All I could do was laugh. Stand there in the pouring rain absolutely drenched and laugh.

They say that the camino is broken up into 3 phases; body, mind and soul, and that the three regions of the walk represent those phases. From St. Jean to Burgos is loosely linked to challenging the body. Burgos to Leon, the Meseta, challenges the mind. From Leon onwards is for the soul/spirit.
I didn’t train for this. I decided to walk the Camino just a few months before I left so all my spare time was spent working overtime so I could go. Having said that, my body had been pushed beyond anything it had done before. In the beginning I walked 20-25km per day and felt absolutely exhausted. I didn’t want to nap because I wanted to sleep all through the night. But I went to bed early most nights so woke up early every morning, was always too warm and had nightmares. I didn’t realise until half way through my Camino that napping for an hour would ensure I slept right through to my alarm. At 6am. Every day. I busted my left knee on day one going down a steep hill. After that I had to rely on my right side, which with all the compensating, meant that my right knee and hip hurt shortly after. My shoulders hurt for the first two days but a friend helped me massage that out. My pack was light and I only carried with me the bare essentials. I had an amazing checklist from Amanda and received many compliments. Some packed too much and had to either leave things behind, send them home or send them on ahead to the finish to wait for them there. I have so much more stamina now because as the weeks went on I was increasing the number of km walked. Towards the end we pulled some incredibly long days, between 30-37km [sometimes because we didn’t think ahead and had to in order to reach our target (of Santiago by Friday) on time].

I had a guidebook with me that outlined the terrain, distances between towns and what each town contained. Most people used it as a bible, only walking each day as far as the book dictated. I walked that way initially because it was the most logical distance for my body but after a few days the stages outlined in the guide crept up to 30km days, something I knew I couldn’t do yet. So I broke it up into small stages, which meant losing pace with a lot of people I’d come to enjoy walking with but it was the right thing for me. And thankfully my closest friends did the same thing. There are 33 stages in the book and it is recommended that you incorporate at least 2 rest days for yourself. I didn’t realise how much I needed one until I took it. Lying in bed at 8am, having a long, hot shower and getting dressed in my cotton top and thongs (flip-flops) and then just meandering around Leon felt rejuvenating. I completed the walk from St. Jean to Santiago in 31 days, including 1 rest day. Now, that was me. It doesn’t have to be anyone else. I did push myself but it was a healthy challenge. Trust me, I am now resting like never before. I’ve been home for a few days now and apart from the grocery shop and one very important movie date with myself, I have not left the couch.
I used the guidebook as a diary for my reflections. It saved on having to carry another book because everything you take with you, you carry, and I didn’t want the extra weight. Each stage had quotes or extracts from poems, some of them helped and I kept thinking back on them throughout the day.  Some like:
“If you can be happy with little then you have a lot to be happy about.”
“Here inside me is a force that makes its own weather, winning through thickest clouds to the shining sun.”

There was much debate amongst everyone that had seen the film The Way, starring Martin Sheen as to whether the meaning and feeling of the Camino had been captured or lost. I think that you can’t explain to someone the Camino, because everyone walks it for different reasons. It’s impossible to capture all of that and put it into one, Hollywood style film. It wasn’t a documentary, those had been done before, it was a film. Love it or hate it, its message for me was a strong one: You don’t choose a life, you live one.  

Without telling you my deepest reflections, I know you all genuinely care so here are a few thoughts I had along the way.

Walking out of Puente La Reina: I feel like I did the right think in choosing to walk with these people (Tim, Wendy, Mel and Chunghee). I like these pilgrims, we can laugh and walk slowly. I felt lethargic and most sore walking into Estella, the miserable weather taking its tole on my spirit. My soul feels brighter with the companionship of my Camino family. The camaraderie has made me feel connected to the human energy here, everyone is polite, happy, we’re all in pain somehow but show only joy. Bad knee and hips and shoulders and things on the inside but only ever smiles and Holà’s and Buen Camino! I need more. I’m addicted to this positive force.

In Viana: Can’t believe I’ve found someone like Alex, but it’s hard knowing she doesn’t live anywhere near me. I know I always have a place with her in Arizona and wherever I am, she can be too. I have a new temptation to drive across the U.S., I haven’t really wanted to go before. Every day the sound of church bells chime inside me, they keep me going. It’s a small-town feeling that I’d like to take with me back to London, something I hope I don’t forget when I’m being drowned out by airplanes. I’m charging my phone, all ready to take more photos tomorrow in a vain attempt to capture the moments I experience. The sunrise, walking in the dark then the rolling golden fields. My body has almost healed, bring on tomorrow.

In Sanbol: My body needs a rest. My mind needs a rest. My soul is excited and desperate for more.

I met a couple on my way, I can’t honestly remember which country they’re from or what their first language is or even their names but they spoke a little of English which helped us get by. The man had tied small bells to his backpack and it was really nice to hear as we were walking along dry, dusty gravel roads, it gave some character to the moment. Alex and I passed them one day walking through a forested area and he and his wife told us they believed that the forest held healing properties and they were cleansing their auras with burning sage. They offered to cleanse ours and we let them. Right there and then, we really accepted that if they believed it would help us, then it would. I did feel lighter after that moment, even if it was for just a few minutes. Thinking for hours on end is exhausting and maybe my aura did need to be cleansed, it was a heavy burden I was carrying with me for so long. I was finally learning how to process things and let it go.

On a lighter note, I just have to mention the pig. If that was what it actually was. One night in Leon, the city was having a food festival celebration – of sorts. They erected a marque in one of the piazzas and sold market type food from stalls. I pointed at the massive wok in the back and said I’d like some. Actually, I asked what it was first, and the lady behind the counter who didn’t speak English typed something into her phone on Google translate and showed us, it was “from the pig”. Uhuh sure ok, I said I’d have a plate. She typed back that it was “large”. Righto, Alex and I would share a plate then. Again, with everything in this country it came with bread and that was the best part of the meal. Honestly. It was a dark brown mush that left a bright yellow stain on the plate, it smelt funky and tasted, ah interesting. I think Alex and I ate it just to soak up the alcohol we’d been drinking. We have no idea what it was, just something from the pig, some part, all parts probably. They were playing music over a loud speaker and Bed of Roses came on by Bon Jovi so I started singing along. Alone. No one else knew the song! Ok one girl, the other Aussie we were with that night but not the Englishman, nor the American, Norwegian or the Irishman. I was just utterly disgusted. So I belted out the rest of the song and it was followed by anther Bon Jovi song, Always, so I belted that one out even louder. Was Bon Jovi only big in Australia?! Crazy!

We all had a bit of alone time in Leon, which was just what we all needed at that point. I think we had started getting on each other’s nerves and spending 24/7 with the same people will do that. I sat in front of the cathedral and scribbled some notes in my guide-book/journal:
It really is about the climb. Once you identify the hill, the up is the hardest but most memorable part. You can look down at all that you’ve conquered. And be proud. “You’re sure to do impossible things if you follow your heart” has been stuck in my head for days now thanks to a sign that read “Follow your heart” and the really catchy tune. (It’s a song from the film Thumbelina). Walk your own camino. “Hold your own, know your name and go your own way and everything will be fine.” So many nightmares, essentially one per night, I ended up with what I needed. I’ve accepted the happiness of others and that I can be happy for them. I slept soundly last night with my only dream a happy one about holding onto a fast train, loving the experience and feeling the wind in my hair. “Enough. Enough now.”

Santiago: I’ve made it, but my Camino doesn’t end here so it doesn’t seem final. I had a moment when reaching the cathedral. Overheard a lady say to me and Alex: “Well done, you’ve made it.” Thinking back, that’s what made the day for me.

The next three days to Finisterre felt more special, especially seeing the water for the first time. That was momentous; I could see why pilgrims walked to the end of the Earth. We watched the sunset on the rocks, and I thought that if I don’t do anything else, I’ve done this incredible thing. It took walking the Camino to realise for myself that I love how much I love, I love how much I’ve grown and I love how strong I really am.

Walking on to Muxia, a perfect ending to this part of the journey. Here Alex, James and I wrote our very own 12 Days of Spain. Alex and I met two men from Michigan who wrote their own lyrics to the Christmas Carol 12 Days of Christmas. So at the end of our journey in Spain, we wrote our own. I’ll skip to the end.

On the 12th day in Spain, the Camino gave to me…
12 painful blisters
11 pilgrim menus (a typically 3 course meal of simple touristy type food for us, pilgrims)
10 cafes con leche (coffee with milk)
9 hundred kilometres (after walking from St. Jean Pied-de-Port to Santiago, then on to Finisterre and then Muxia)
8 euro bunkbeds
7 walking sticks
6 daily food breaks (we seriously did)
5 pilgrims! (I walked most of the way with Alex, James, Drew and Andrèas)
4 donativos (pilgrim hostel you donate as much as you want as the cost of a bed)
3 compostelas (certificate you get upon reaching the end, we received one for reaching Santiago, Finisterre and Muxia)
2 (too) many churches (you have no idea how many. I have no idea how many)
And a tan only on our left side! (walking only west)

Activities along the way included me learning all 50 states of America, including the 3 territories and writing a homework list for Alex of all the CLASSIC movies, tv shows and music artists she hasn’t seen or heard. I was appalled by the lack of Bon Jovi.

So for all of you playing at home, these are the towns I stayed in along the way.

St. Jean Pied-de-Port
Roncesvalles (The Spaniards don’t pronounce ‘LL’, instead its like a ‘Y’ sound)
Zubiri
Pamplona
Puente La Reina
Estella
Los Arcos
Viana
Navarette
Santo Domingo
Belorado
Agés
Burgos
San Bol
Itero de la Vega
Villacázar de Sirga
Ledigos
Sahagún
Reliegos
León
Hospital de Órbigo
Gabino
Molinaseca
Villafranca del Bierzo
Herrerías
Triacastela
Barbadelo
Ventas de Narón
Ribadiso de Baixo
San Paio
Santiago
Negreira
Olveiroa
Finisterre
Lires
Muxia

I can’t write a packing list for you because everyone will have different needs, some people will send packs ahead each day and some will carry them so instead I’ll write a few “must have’s”
-       - a rock from home. This symbolises your struggles, pains, issues, the reason you’re walking, so many things, and you leave it behind at the cross at Cruz de Ferro. You carry it with you and when you leave it behind, feel lighter. I did.

-       - Really good shoes. Walking shoes, hiking boots, look just make sure you’ve worn them in and they’re somewhat waterproof because it’ll rain or you’ll get wet in the puddles and wet feet mean more blisters and a grumpy you. You’re in them most of the day, every day, for the entire length of your Camino. They should have good tread, ankle support if you need, and also consider insoles. I had to buy mine half way through as I wore down the sole under my heels.

-       - Blister prevention and treatment. You will get blisters. Embrace this fact. Now, to minimise blister occurrence, there are plenty of opinions and I can only tell you what I did. I only had blisters under the two little toes on each foot. Wear two layers of socks, a sock liner and then a hiking/walking sock. Merino wool and smart wool are the way to go. Comfortable and quick dry. You can tape areas you think may blister as extra prevention. Now if/when you get one, sterilise a needle, pop and drain, cover with a Compeed (I had to put a Band-Aid around my toes to make sure the Compeed stayed on). It should fall off on its own after about a week. You will be blister-pros when you’re done.

-       - You need a strong will to complete your Camino in order to get you through. There will come a time when your alarm goes off at 6am, or you’re half way along a seemingly endless stretch of gravel road that feels like death under your feet, or staring up at a massive hill, or you’re in immense pain or you’re lonely in a crowd and you wonder why on Earth you thought it was a good idea. Whenever that time comes, if it comes, you need to think of that good reason you had that brought you to your Camino. Find that spirit and keep going. Just put one foot in front of the other. Find strength within yourself and just keep on keeping on.

But the Camino is never truly over. You never do stop walking it. It is part of your every day and even now back home, I am keeping the Camino spirit alive in me.

I’ll probably write more about the Camino in my next blog, it’ll always come up, but if there’s something in particular you’d like to know, leave a comment. I’d be more than happy to tell you about it.


Buen Camino.

Friday, 9 September 2016

A few important notes.

I have had three major heartbreaks this year. Did you all know that? The latest being my Tiger. And for that I am surely due some good karma.

He had been a large part of my life for 16 years, he taught me many things, love, responsibility and compassion and the importance of having someone dependent on me for their existence.
He had a spoilt life, by me especially, he had everything he could have ever wanted. He'd beg me for chips or biscuits and I'd always give him some. He loved chips the most. I couldn't walk into my room with food, even if I new he wouldn't like it like when it was fruit, because he'd suddenly wake up, get up, walk over and scream at me until I'd given him all that was left. I'd have to come back from the kitchen with extra rations because I knew he'd want some. Oh! Mum's shortbread. He was a stickler for that stuff.
From loud punk rock music to soft acoustic melodies, he fully supported me through every phase of my life. He loved my small single bed and then my large double, but most importantly my electric blanket in those chilly months. He would walk into the shower just after you'd finished and stand near the drain for someone to come and pour water down so he could follow the drips, play with them and then track his wet prints through the house. We loved it. Mum came around to it.
Tiger used to have a 3 o'clock friend. A few years ago, Berni and I noticed that Tiger would sit at the front door every day from 3pm for about 20 minutes and cry out to someone, we never found out who or why but it became dependable. Oh Tiger's at it again, must be 3. He always did have a great set of lungs on him. He'd sing at the open front door (I say sing and use the term quite loosely because anyone walking past would think we were strangling him) every day, on the window sill in my room looking out, treating the pigeons to his latest number.

I'm leaving in a few days for my Camino. My bag is packed, I'm all set, I'm ready in every sense and I'm so excited!

Work's good, same same and loving it.

Love my friends here but miss everyone at home. I've taken leave in March so make sure you're all free. I'll do some extra shifts to make up for 3 day's worth so I can leave a week earlier.

Not a long post, just checking in and saying cheerio for now. I'll send something special when I get back from my trip. Send me messages, I love receiving them, they're little connections to the other side of the world and makes me feel all gooey inside.

xx

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Can you believe August is almost over?!

Having my percolated coffee black because I’ve run out of milk and don’t want to run to the CORNER store to get more. I’m in pjs and I have to change for work soon so no, I will not go. I shall sit here and dream of milk until tomorrow when I get my lazy butt out of bed and down to Tescos.

I’ve moved my flight up to 11th Sept. some time in the afternoon. I am ready for my camino. I’m ready to be open to change and what it’ll bring. I’ve dreamt I haven’t been ready and yes it’s going to be scary but the best kind of scary! And as long as I keep my pack light and look after my feet, I’ll be fine. I owe so much to Amanda. I did a trial pack for my Camino because I’m so excited; I almost have everything I need. My lounge room floor was covered in clothes and gear, everything scattered around in a chaotic order.

I found a nice little bar in Ealing. We went for drinks there two weeks ago and it’s really cute. Great music, little lights and lamps outside and sweet little tables and chairs. Outside is quite couple-y but the whole thing is cosy and I’ll definitely go there again.

Treated myself to some sparkly clothes last weekend. Nothing like what I’d normally get but I thought I needed a change. The glittery skirt is very Carrie from SATC and the dress is gold, sparkly and floor length, can’t wait to wear it. Lord knows when I’ll wear it but when I have an opportunity, I shall.

Natalie took me along to an Irish pub in the city a few days ago to watch the semi final Gaelic football, Kerry vs Dublin. I had a Guinness in my hand and my back smushed against the bar because the pub was that full. We were both going for Kerry and yelling along with the rest of the pub when they came from behind late in the second half to get 5pts up at half time. But then Dublin retaliated and Kerry couldn’t get past the strong Dublin defensive line and Dublin won by 2pts. I barely had any idea what was going on but I’m not completely invested in the game, conveniently at the end of the season. The final is on in 2 weeks so if I’m not working I’ll watch it. I’ll get an Irish buddy to teach me all the rules and by the start of the next season I’ll be ready, which is next April-ish.

I have finished watching season 2 of How to Get Away with Murder and have moved on to binge watching Sexy And The City from Season 1 in the small amount of free time I have.

You know when you have a bad night’s sleep and wake up thinking “ugh I cbf going into work today. I’ll just float under the radar, avoid most people, smile and be polite but just get through the day, come home and plonk on the couch with trashy tv/good book/insert other small pleasure here”. Well I can’t do that. I’m on late shifts at the moment, got to bed at 1am and woke every hour from 3.30am. Also had bad dreams of people chasing me, challenging tasks I had to do with little to no help from any one else and the clock was against me. I eventually got up at 10am and just plodded around the flat for a few hours. I will finished getting ready for work and I’ll go and smile and act like I really want to be there for every single patient because they’re at their lowest, they are at the point where they need help so badly that they have called for an ambulance and they expect to see supportive people who are invested in their health and wellbeing. Most patients are like this, we do get frequent callers who don’t want to go to their GP or lonely patients but mostly, we go to genuine people. And I love my job, I do, so I had a black coffee, made a great chicken and rice dinner to take with me with some fruit and veggies and nuts.
I’ve been given a semi-permanent line at a station close to home starting in October. The guy who is normally on this line is mentoring someone else for 6 months so I’m taking his spot. It’s a 12hr rota which means I get a cheeky 1 week off every month, it’ll make coming home to visit in March more economic as well. And I’m going to be working with a cool guy as well, I’ve worked with him before.

I'll post again before I leave on my trip. Is anyone actually reading this? Or enjoying it? Anything you'd like me to keep you posted about in particular?

TTFN xx


Friday, 12 August 2016

Checking In


Not much has changed really.  Mum and Pa were here again and then they left, that’s the most exciting thing that’s happened since I checked in last.  We went out for dinner for Mum’s birthday with Natalie (my flatmate) in the city and stumbled home late after incredible steak and wine.

Work is the same; I’ve done a few extra shifts to get more days off for my Camino. I need to do 3 shift swaps just so I have a buffer at the other end of the month off so I don’t have to rush back to work, in case the pilgrimage takes 35 days instead of 30 for whatever reason – injury or weather related. So tired of wearing only my uniform. I miss my jeans. They're blue and actually fit.
I’ve been catching up with friends from work and going out with Natalie, trying to have something of a social life but seeing as almost everyone I know is on shift work as well I barely see anyone or leave the flat other than for groceries.  Oh but I did see Suicide Squad last weekend which I enjoyed. I loved just getting out of the house to be honest and wearing clothes that aren’t uniform or pjs.

I’m currently in the middle of 4 night shifts, with a friendly late shift tagged onto the start of that as well. It’s physically and mentally exhausting. By the third shift you get into the rhythm but coming off your fourth and trying to get back into the land of normal is near impossible. I’m still struggling. But I’ve made plans to go out during the day with a friend this time around and to have some friends over for LASAGNA THAT MUM MADE that night so I’ll force myself back to normal.

For Mum and her friends that worry, yes I’m eating well. Apart from the one tube of Pringles I bought yesterday, I don’t eat junk food. I have mostly fruits, nuts, brown pasta and rice, and a good steak now and then. Breakfast is always porridge with honey and chia seeds and I drink lots of water.

I’ve bought Berni’s birthday present. It’s a goodin to make up for not being there on the day. You’ll love it, Poo, I swear.


Ah just FYI I won’t say no to a care package, just ask my parents for my address. I miss Mint Slices… *cough cough*

Next time I'll write something more interesting. I'll make sure to do something interesting so I can write about it. I'm sure I'll do something. It can't get any more boring...

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Back Again!

Another post so soon?!! Well yeah I felt bad only writing a smidge last time.

Yesterday I bought more stuff for my Camino and realised how I can't actually AFFORD to go but I NEED to go, so... I'm just going to keep at it. I drove to Edgware yesterday to a Go Outdoors store and what should have been a 20 minute drive - what would have been a 20 minute drive in Melbourne anywhere but Punt Rd - took 45 minutes. Oh London Traffic - I hate you with a passion. I bought a sleeping bag. It was the smallest there, it was the lightest they had, I got it home and tried stuffing it in my backpack and unless it's just me, someone who doesn't hike overnight and has never tried this before but, it takes up so much room! It barely fits in there. It's a 30L pack. BUT! It's perfect for my Camino. The temperature range is good, weight, size of actual bag and it means that as it takes up more room, I'm less tempted to shove more stuff in there which will make my pack heavier. I spent half an hour in the store messaging my friend back home who walked it last year, MANDA PANDA, THAT'S YOU! Asking 'what do you think of this jacket' 'do I need this' 'what kind of hat...' bloody hell, I don't shop. I can't stand shopping. I wish someone would just buy me clothes (BERNI) and send them to me (NUDGE NUDGE, WINK WINK). I'll pay you back, cheers.
I got so excited last night that I did I trial pack. I do need toiletries in there and a water bottle, a torch, oh and my scallop shell on the front, but other than that I think I've got it all. I also bought a jacket yesterday. It's a fleecey jacket, warm, breathes, dries quickly but it's purple. They didn't have any other colour and I really can't afford to keep putting off buying this stuff. As I need more overtime shifts to book off the later days, I needed to just buy what I needed and not waste anymore time, utilise my days to the fullest. I bought a cap, because I don't own a hat here other than a massive wide brim sunhat, and lately a waterproof jacket the rolls into a little pouch that I've strapped to the outside. I look like I know what I'm doing. I'm going for a walk today wearing the pack with an Aussie mate from work. We're heading to Richmond Park. It's an hours' walk from my place, then it can take you over an hour to walk straight through the middle to the other end, let alone around the whole thing. Oh! I'm excited.

I caught up with a friend from home last night. THAT'S YOU LAUREN G!!! She lives over Clapham-way so I made the train trip over and I'm so glad I did. Made my day. There's so much happening over there that I almost feel jealous. I live in Isleworth, but on the outside of it. There's nothing actually near me in terms of restaurants and bars and clubs. I have a pub. It's nice. I don't think they have live music so it's not the best but! I have a pub. Lauren is surrounded by culture and busy-bees and cafes with really good coffee. I guess it means I save money just because I'm not tempted to spend it?

Ok, off for my walk. I'll let you know how it goes!

And I'm back, over 6hrs later. I had to shower because oh, pissed down with rain for most of the day but so worth it. It was probably better in the rain. It was muddy and cool then hot and dry; I had a lot of fun using and getting familiar with the jackets and pack. It's made me realise just how poor my posture really is :/ Not good.
We walked 23km today, which isn't too bad! And there was a lunch break in there.
Ok starving, need to refuel.
TTFN!


Friday, 8 July 2016

I am a Paramedic. Oh and the parentals are here!

How's this font? Any better? BERNI?!

I've been really busy (not slack) so haven't been able to post anything for a while.

After 3 hard years of studying, packing up my life and moving overseas and a mere 300hours of placement, I am finally out on the road as a fully qualified Paramedic. It's here, I'm here and it's scary! I'm on relief so I work crazy hours, all mostly 12hr shifts, but because I don't have a permanent line at one particular branch, I don't get the luxury of getting one week off every month. Plus I have a big trip planned, for which I need at least 6 extra shifts to make up the time to go. But I'll tell you all about that in a bit.
So I get about 6hrs sleep, wake and run out the door. I will work for 12hrs+, drive home, eat tea, prepare lunch for the next day, shower and go to bed. The two days off I have are mostly spent doing the grocery shop or washing, which I should be doing right now haha but I'll squeeze that in later this afternoon. Finding a time you're free that coincides with the same time that someone else from work is free to catch up is near impossible. I have slightly better luck in catching up with Nicole because she at least has most evenings and weekends. We see each other every 2ish weeks and I love it, really keeps me going. She's helping me find the attractive side of London. The colours and smells and foods, drinking wine on a hill in the lazy afternoon sun. It's not just a grey city of smog and grumpy people. 

My parents are traveling at the moment around Britain and we've caught up twice now. I waited a good hour and a half at the gate of Terminal 3 at Heathrow because there were hundreds of people going through Passport Control when they landed. Their faces lit up when they saw me there waiting, but whose wouldn't? I'm adorable.
What did we do? Geeze, oh well we had dinner at the pub around the corner from my place. It's a great little pub on the Thames with a really nice beer garden. I'm not sure I'll be sitting outside in the winter time as the heaters do a poor job of keeping anything warm but it's great in summer. I had to work a bit but we had dinners together. They did the grocery shop for me, and paid for it for me, oh I really did appreciate that. Me so poor! Adulting is really expensive. Especially when my extra shifts will be for TOIL (time off in lieu) for my trip. Mother Dearest then spent 3hrs in the kitchen cooking sugo, kidney beans and minestrone for me to freeze. My freezer is still fully stocked, oh it's so sexy! Pa and I watched the soccer. Yes, I'm going to keep calling it soccer because you can take the girl out of Australia...
Ah damn, my tee shirt is covered in chocolate now. That's what you get I suppose when you eat slouched on the couch. 
They stayed for 3 nights then went off around Britain. They passed through again the week after for a day, we went into town so I could vote in the Aus Fed Election. I voted twice in a space of 7 days and felt pretty important. Not that either of my votes actually made a difference in the end, but I felt better inside. We had Japanese for lunch and you just can't have asian food without pouring too much hot red sauce on your plate and smothering every bite in it. Crying. Using hard napkins on your face. Then going back for another bite. They're in Ireland now but coming back oo next week, I think. Haha possibly. I'll check our rosters later this week.

I'm trying to do one activity per day, on my days off. Yesterday's activity was the beer fest. Today's is recovering from the beer fest. It was hot, sunny, 7 pints with one glass of water. I'm not so smart for a smart person. Oh god, I feel so lousy and can barely focus my eyes on the screen but I shall carry on!! 

My trip that I have planned from mid September to mid October is the Camino de Santiago, walking the Camino Frances. A 30 day pilgrimage you walk in Spain, from St Jean to Santiago. Look it up. There's a movie about it with Martin Sheen and Emilio Esteves. 

Ok if I'm honest, it's taken me about an hour and a half to write just this much, I'm going to have to stop and keep going another time. I just can't think straight! Egh.

Cheerio!
















Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Almost Fully Qualified...

This post shall be about the month of May and my thoughts and feelings throughout, and to say that I'm holding on for dear life is an understatement.



Let's not lie and say this career choice of mine is an easy one, because it really isn't. I am constantly stressed. Sometimes I wonder how I could have ever thought being a Paramedic was for me, my dream, the job I wanted to work until the end of time. 

Why would I choose to do shift work? It's unhealthy (google circadian rhythm) and can affect not only your sleep and eating patterns, but hormone levels (including impacting your fertility) and increase your risk of heart disease, amongst most other nasty things. Being a Paramedic means you need incredible manual handling skills and awareness because you will be squatting, bending, pushing, lifting heavy patients and bags, twisting into tight-ass corners, wriggling into impossible angles to shift some heavy bugger who decided to collapse at the bottom of the stairs in a corner of a busy club. This job means you don't have 'weekends', you get 'days-off' that no one else has off, because it's Tuesday-Thursday and not even your work mates have those days off, so eating on your own, going to the movies on your own and day trips are on your own. Being a Paramedic is depressing. You only see people who are sick or hurt. People are normally upset, despite being glad to see you walk through their door. We bring bad news as often as good.

However! 
I could not possibly imagine doing anything else other than being a Paramedic.
I get to see the city (at the moment, it's London) at all times of the day. I see the striking colours of the sun setting over the horizon nearly every day and I can watch the smooth, gentle pinks lighting up the dark sky in the mornings at the end of my shifts. Humans decided to live while the sun is up, but I think there's something calming, gentle and friendly about the dark. I can have steak for breakfast, I have an excuse to eat cereal for dinner and when you're tired, you sleep, while the sun shines you rest and recharge for your next big adventure: tonight's shift.
I am unconsciously using so many muscles that I'm getting stronger. You carry two to three heavy bags at a time, up and down stairs at patients' houses, in and out of the truck, around branch, to and from work. You squat all the time, with a straight back, and picture yourself at the gym. And no need for a stair master, all the houses here are built upwards, and they always get sick on the topmost floor. And there's never an elevator in apartment blocks. 
It takes a certain person to be a Paramedic, and because I am one, I know that the friends that I am making now at work, these colleagues of mine, are more than just colleagues. I have been able to trust them, confide in them and connect with them as they are so similar to me. I may be stressed and doubt myself and my abilities, but they are going through the same things and feel the exact same way. I am not alone in thinking that 300 hours of training is not enough to become a competent Paramedic. I am not alone in missing home, or the sun or the Aussie accent.
And as a Paramedic I am welcomed whole-heartedly into strangers' homes. The look of relief as I come in with my bags and open mind and ready skills will never get old. I like being liked, I guess I'm a glutton in that way, I want more of it. I will never get tired of hearing 'thank you'.
I am almost fully qualified and will soon be out on my own, and to that I say BRING IT ON!